Monday, December 11, 2023

Bootcamp Blues

30 things that go through your mind on the first day of a get-fit bootcamp


Boot-camps are all the rage these days. It’s easy to get enthusiastic about weight loss, a toned body and the vision of yourself able to nonchalantly do 50 press-ups. Actually signing up for a class can be daunting though, especially mixed ones. And if you haven’t been very active before, well, it can be downright scary. And painful. The first class is the hardest. Between trying to perfect your form and doing painful things you didn’t know your body could do (while trying to look cool), the thoughts racing in and out of your mind can be downright… absurd.


Warm-up? No problem!

Warm-up? Easy-peasy
Warm-up? Easy-peasy

1) This is easy. I could do this all day.


2) Oh god, how long do I have to do these jumping jacks?!


3) Isn’t warm-up supposed to be fun? I can’t breathe.


Isn’t warm-up supposed to be fun? I can’t breathe
aren’t we just supposed to be warming up?


Cardio and Strength training- Hell on Earth


4) Jump-squat-push-up?! I didn’t come here to die.


5) How can twenty seconds last so long?!


6) Oh thank God, rest period.


exhausted after workout
Thank God – rest period!


7) That did NOT last ten seconds.


8) Why is that guy looking at me?

is he looking at me?
is he looking at me?


9) Oh no, maybe he thinks I’m looking at him!


Oh God what if he thinks I'm at HIM?
Oh God what if HE thinks I was looking at HIM?


10) The instructor wants me to go deeper into my squat? LOL, NO.


11) Okay, butt out, back straight, head up.


12) My form was perfect in that last one. I’m a goddess.


13) Wait, did I hold my stomach in?


14) Damn, I forgot to hold my stomach in!


15) Was all of that useless because I didn’t hold my stomach in?!

Well at least that didn't happen
Well at least that didn’t happen


16) Hell no, squats again?!




17) This next one looks easy. I got this.


18) NOPE, don’t got this.

exercise hurts


19) If he says squats again, I’m walking out the door.




20) Seriously?! How many kinds of squats are there?!


21) I’m gonna go for the proper push-up.


22) Oooor maybe I’ll just do them on my knees. Mustn’t over-exert!


Gonna do it right
I have the muscle tone of Spongebob – sigh


23) Jump Lunges?! I fall flat on my face during normal lunges!


24) I’ll just skip this one.


25) Oh god, the instructor is coming this way, pretend to do jump lunges!


26) Hey, I’m totally killing these mountain climbers! Oh wait, my shoe came off.


Aaaand Cool-down.


27) It’s over?! It’s over!! I did it!

Yay! I did it!!!
Yay! I did it!!!


28) Stretches? No problem!


29) Um. My body can’t do that.



30) Oh god, there’s 29 more days of this!

anuskha sharma - kill me now

Then again…..



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